Mara’s fight (3) : A sad ending to a valiant fight

This is the third and final post which covers the final outcome of my mother’s fight for life. It is my great sadness to have to tell you that my mother, Mara, died in the night of the 4th to the 5th November 2005.

My father and I suffered a great loss when we saw she who had been the soul and the conscience of our family die in this tragic manner.


Medically speaking, she suffered a massive internal bleeding – especially from inferior viscera – and the resulting drop in blood pressure provoked her death, despite attempts to transfuse her and to resuscitate her in accordance with my instructions (see Mara’s fight (2)).

A few days before, a scanner had found evidence of cancer extensions to the lungs, the kidney glands, the bones and the intestines. It is hard to say, hard to admit for a loving son, but with such damages to her body, the final hour of my mother was coming soon or late.

Nevertheless, I had given instructions to the physicians to continue care, even if it meant to go into therapeutical relentlessness. I have to confess to a row with some Belgian priests who found that I had given wrong instructions, because the Catholic church refuses medical efforts when they are bound to fail.

I have maintained a great independence of mind from each and every influence to push my decision in one sense or another. I found, in fact, that as a son, I could never have given my mother death – as some priests were suggesting. The point, when refusing therapeutical relentlessness, is that nobody can absolutely say which is the point of non-return in medical matters; hence, in my view, the good point is in giving a loved one all the possible chances to survive.